I just can’t keep up with the dashboard feed. I might use the Tumblr platform to do a topical blog at some point, but for now I’m gonna take a break from the network.
If you can’t confront your shadow, it’ll bite you in the ass.” —Read OUTING MR. HYDE (via goodmenproject)
I wrote this on my Crouzon Syndrome group on Facebook, as part of a discussion on dating with facial differences:
When I say people are judging or rejecting me on grounds that I would not use to judge or reject other people, I am not making an unkind assessment of my looks. I am making an unkind assessment of their character. I am calling them shallow. I am calling them picky. I am calling them every name in the book. I am saying absolutely nothing—positive or negative—about myself.
So I try to be careful about making that assessment of others. I have not always been in the past; I think I really did once (badly) hurt somebody I had dated by suggesting that she treated me differently than other men she’d dated because of my Crouzon Syndrome when, in retrospect, it probably wasn’t true. I was too wrapped up in my own insecurities to realize that I was contributing to hers. I’m glad she forgave me, and I’m glad I asked her to. What I did was cruel and wrong.
Nobody deserves to be treated badly because of their looks, but nobody should ever feel obligated to enter a relationship with somebody they’re not attracted to, either. Fortunately, we live in a world full of people with various physical deformities, often significantly more severe than ours, who are accompanied on their journeys by loving spouses who presumably were not drawn to them out of any kind of pity or sense of obligation.
Human sexuality is very elastic. So I’m not worried about my face anymore. I _am_ worried that my insecurities about my face may lead me to assume that an ideal partner who is very interested in me isn’t, but everybody who has insecurities runs that risk, and everybody has insecurities.
It was reading Malcolm X that convinced Chokwe Lumumba to go to law school. Malcolm X had wanted to be a lawyer, but his teachers discouraged him. As an undergraduate student at Kalamazoo College in Michigan in the late 1960s, Lumumba decided to be the lawyer that Malcolm X might have been.
In the nearly four decades since them Lumumba as championed civil rights in Michigan and Mississippi, working as a lawyer representing accused murderers in front of unsympathetic juries; as the vice-president of the Republic of New Afrika, a Detroit-based black-nationalist group in the late ’60s; and currently as a City Council Member in Jackson, Miss.
In June, however, Lumumba was recognized for serving a different community. He is one of this year’s recipients of the Freedom from Fear Award, produced by the nonprofit group, Public Interest Projects. The honor recognized accomplishments made on behalf of immigrants and refugees.” —
Read Chokwe Lumumba’s life story and activism at the link. Fascinating, inspiring and a role model that we should all learn about in these troubled times.